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About the term "New Relationship Energy"


Zhahai coined the term "New Relationship Energy" (or NRE) in the mid 1980's in the course of learning to understand and communicate important dynamics within non-monogamous relationships. The first wider dissemination occurred in the early 1990s when he began using the term on the "Triples" email list (later renamed the "poly" list) moderated by Howard Landman; no archives of that list are yet available. The term also caught on immediately among other list members, apparently filling an unmet need.

Zhahai also used the term on the USEnet group alt.polyamory, with the oldest usage which is still archived on DejaNew (now Google Groups) dating from September 17, 1992 (or September 16th, depending on time zone adjustments). He was not very active on USEnet in that period however, and the term most likely diffused more broadly to other online lists and newsgroups through other members of the Triples List.

An article by Zhahai elaborating on the concept of New Relationship Energy and implications for polyamory was published in 2001 as the lead article of Issue #26 of Loving More Magazine under the title What's All This NRE Stuff Anyway?. The text of that article is available on this website.

Frequently Asked Questions: NRE and Limerence

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