Books on non-monogamy
Cascade Spring Cook and Zhahai Spring Stewart
More Than Two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert (2014).
More Than Two is the best book on polyamory that I've read. I particularly appreciate their emphasis on being ethical, which they describe like this:
Being ethical means that you're willing to look at your actions and their effects on other people. If you're presented with evidence that you're causing harm, or that what you're doing won't achieve what you and your partner(s) want, you will look for ways to change this. In making decisions, you will consider the well-being of everyone involved, not just some. Being ethical also means you're willing to have the kinds of discussions that would permit an honest analysis of the way you're choosing to do poly, without getting defensive or accusatory.
They have a good mixture of talking about how to do things well, how not to do things, stories that illustrate their points, and questions for the reader to think about.
The Game Changer: A Memoir of Disruptive Love by Franklin Veaux (September 2015).
Franklin's own story of love and heartbreak. It's a courageous memoir of the joys and pain of multiple loves when there was no guidance about how to do it well. In admitting to the pain he caused others by the agreements he made with his wife, he may help others avoid the same mistakes.
Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families edited by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff (October 2015)
A lovely collection of stories (and poems, drawings, cartoons...) about poly life from adults and children. It covers how people got started in polyamory, relationships that didn't work out, long term polyamory, children in poly families.
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and
Sustaining Open Relationship by Tristan Taormino
Opening Up is a practical, well-researched book on the variety of ways in which relationships can be open. It is easy to read, with interesting stories from people Tristan Taormino interviewed, and lots of questions for the reader to consider when thinking about having an open relationship. It also shares insights from a wide variety of books relating to sexuality and relationships.
There's no sense that any one choice
is better than any other, as long as people are honest about what
they're doing. As she says, "My mission in sex and relationship
education has always been to empower people to explore all their
options, discover what works best for them, and go out and get it." Her
approach is very successful.
This near the top of my list of books to read for people who are thinking about opening their relationship, or wondering how to deal with the issues that arise in a nonmonogamous situation.
Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open
Marriage by Jenny Block (2008)
Open is a delightful story of one woman's explorations on the way to a fairly stable polyamorous relationship with her husband and her female lover. It touches on the mixed messages that our society gives girls about sexuality and how to be a woman. Jenny Block seamlessly weaves the ideas from various authors into the unfolding of her own thoughts and experiences.
I highly recommend this book for both entertainment and thought-provoking ideas.
Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships by Kathy Labriola (2010)
The Polyamory Handbook: A User's Guide by Peter J. Benson (2008)
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt (1998)
Polyamory: the New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships by Deborah M. Anapol (1997)
Plural Loves: Designs for Bi and Poly Living Edited by Serena Anderlini-D'Onofrio (2004)
Lesbian Polyfidelity by Celeste West (1996)
The Lesbian Polyamory Reader: Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Casual Sex Edited by Marcia Munson and Judith P. Stelboum (1999)
Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Heart by Raven Kaldera (2005)
Sex, Love, and Marriage in the 21st Century: The Next Sexual Revolution Ed. By Robert T. Francoeur, Martha Cornog and Timothy Perper (1999)
The New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles by Ronald Mazur (1973 and 2000)
Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy-O Matik (2002)
Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless
& Hopeful by Anthony Ravenscroft (2004).
See my review for Loving More magazine
Loving More: The Polyfidelity Primer by Ryam Nearing (1992)
Sex Without Guilt in the 21st Century
by Dr. Albert Ellis (2003) (Not about polyamory per se, but definitely
open to it).
See my review for Loving More magazine
Marriage and Alternatives: Exploring Intimate Relationships by Roger W. Libby and Robert N. Whitehurst (1977)
Hot & Cool Sex: Cultures in Conflict by Anna K. and Robert T. Francoeur (1974)
The Extra-Marital Sex Contract by Jay Ziskin and Mae Ziskin (1973)
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