Tools for self-acceptance - questions and actions

Cascade Spring Cook


Lack of self-acceptance can be a real problem in relationships, especially in polyamorous relationships. Insecurity often underlies jealousy. Here are some questions to ask yourself and actions to take to help you develop more self-acceptance.

  • What do I especially appreciate in friends and other people?
  • How do I manifest those qualities that I particularly appreciate?
  • Keep a notebook of the ways you manifest those qualities.
  • Start a practice of doing a good deed every day.
  • See how that makes you feel.
  • Tell people what you appreciate about them.
  • Every evening, write down some things that you particularly appreciate about yourself on this day.
  • Reread these when you're feeling bad about yourself.

Dr. Martin Seligman found that his students reported that doing a good deed helped them feel better longer than doing something for relaxation, such as seeing a movie.

Cascade Spring Cook (Elaine Cook)

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